Fasting and Prayer

As I prepare to send my dossier to Ethiopia and officially begin the waiting process, I am asking for your prayers. I'm spending the next 3 days in prayer and fasting - asking God what child He would have me request (yes, you do have to be specific about what kind of child you desire - boy/girl, infant/toddler/school-age, HIV+, etc). When I initially started this process several months ago, I was interested in pursuing an HIV+ child - since that time, fears and "practicalities" have moved me away from this - but recently, God laid this burden on my heart again. My prayer during this process has been, "not my will, but Yours" - I've seen many times in my life how God does indeed know what's best for me and has a wonderful plan laid out for my life (when I say "wonderful" - that doesn't necessarily translate into "easy" - but I've also learned through the many amazing experiences God has given me, that "easy" doesn't build character, doesn't give us an opportunity to show our faith to others, and doesn't make an eternal or lasting impact on the world). With that said, I am asking God for clarity, wisdom, and discernment in regards to the child that He has for me. I'm also praying for courage to be obedient in whatever He asks. If that is an HIV+ child (which has little to no chance of ever being adopted, and millions will languish and die in orphanages overwhelmed by all these children) - I will certainly need courage to face the potential negative or confused reactions of friends, family, neighbors, communities that may (or may not) have a difficult time understanding this decision.

This "decision" is truly agonizing - as I know that when God's reveals what child He desires for me, another will be left behind.

Thank you in advance for your prayers in this decision. I am grateful to know that many have been praying and will continue to pray as I walk through this process....by faith.